My experience on CouchSurfing

When I was in London (where I lived for nearly six years) I met up with an old friend from my childhood, Dani. He told me he was going on a trip around Europe for a month. ‘But you just said you don’t have much money!’ I said confused. He didn’t. He had just enough to cover train/bus tickets and food.

Dani was going to couchsurf across Europe. This cool concept means people offer their sofa or their spare rooms to travellers who are visiting their city for a few days at no cost. But it’s not about staying somewhere for free. People are genuine: most of the travellers on CS want to get to know the culture, the language, the customs and the people from the country they are visiting. And most of the hosts want to show their travellers around, hear their exciting stories, share some moments with them and get to know different people and cultures.

Now, back to the story – when Dani told me about CouchSurfing I was living with my housemate Julia, a wonderful girl I met in Rio while volunteering. Julia’s family lives in Austria so when she’d go there to see them, we would rent her room out on Airbnb as our flat was super expensive (but what isn’t in London). So unfortunately, CouchSurfing was not an option for us. At the time, over a year ago, I had just got engaged to Charles, my then boyfriend. A few months later Charles and I decided to move to Madrid. I needed to get some experience in journalism and London – even though multicultural and open minded – didn’t seem to want me there as I’m not a native speaker. So I decided to go back to my country and be a native speaker again.

Four months after we had moved to Spain, over a period of two days, Charles left. One Thursday he told me Spain wasn’t for him and he had to go back to England for a weekend soon. The same afternoon he left his job. On Friday he said he missed his family, and the weather (Madrid can be extremely hot in the summer). Charles also said he didn’t like having all the responsibilities he had, like taking care of the dogs, cleaning the house and having to cook (being an adult). That evening he said he would go back to England indefinitely. I asked him ‘what about us?’ I was scared as we had just bought all the furniture for our new home in Spain and most importantly, we had just adopted a dog, Frida. I would not be able to work and study at the same time as I was spending 12h out of the house every day.

He went for a walk with my dog and came back. Then told me he had been talking to his parents who had begged him to come home. His dad said he’d get him a job in his field, and his mum supported the idea of him coming back. Note to self: Do not go out with a spoilt child.

On Saturday Charles came home to pack everything and drove back to England. I begged him to stay, I said I wouldn’t finish my master’s degree and I would just go back with him. I said he was being a selfish bastard and forbade him to leave. I said I didn’t care and I could do better than him. I said a million things, and nothing changed his mind. ‘We want different things, I want to live in England forever and you keep changing your mind, saying you want to live in South America, or Australia or so many other places!’. He was right though. I was so willing to sacrifice my nomadic spirit for him. But I really wanted to travel around, move to another country, learn another language, live in many more places before settling down.

So there I was, in a two bedroom flat in Madrid until at least April, when I finish my master’s. I had to give Frida back to the rescue centre, which was heart-breaking, and I also left my job as an English teacher in order to spend time with my dog, Ollie. Ah, dogs are love. Unconditional pure love. They never give up on you, they never abandon you. They’ll always love you and be there for you.

As the flat was quite expensive, I started looking for a smaller place for Ollie and me, but Madrid is not a very dog-friendly city – no matter how well you’ve trained your dog, because let’s face it: not many people bother to train their dogs here, so they naturally misbehave, and owners are okay with that. ‘She’s a very stubborn dog’ no Miss, your dog is not stubborn, she doesn’t come back because for her any other dog is more exciting than you. Ignorance is a bliss so I don’t like to interfere.

After two weeks in the flat on my own I felt incredibly lonely, and I created a profile on CouchSurfing offering my sofa to anyone who needed it. Two hours later I had a request for that very same night. I was watching Eat, pray, love which I found extremely shallow and painfully long, and I stopped to clean the house as fast as I could. Then, my first couchsurfer arrived; Kave was a man from Iran who had been living in Denmark for the past five years. He was also the key to unlock a greater understanding, that life goes on and this is just a new chapter in my journey. A new opportunity to study abroad if I wanted to (we looked into it, master’s degrees are free in Denmark!) and to embrace anything that came from now on, because I had just been set free and I didn’t even know. We spent two days sight-seeing Madrid and we walked Ollie around Retiro Park, which is extremely beautiful. He told me about his experience in an open relationship which blew my mind, and about some other couch surfers who had got an upgrade to his bed. Kave could also be quite funny. He was a wonderful man full of wisdom, the perfect friend to have deep conversations for hours if you needed to.

My second couch surfer was David, a dog lover from Colombia. He even brought some dog treats for Ollie! He told me about his life, how he found out who his dad was, and how life had been good to him in the end. A life story that could have come out of a telenovela, he reminded me of the characters in García Márquez’s books and made me miss South America. People with warm hearts and gentle spirits.

Anna was the third one to stay. She was a 20-year-old girl from Berlin who studied medicine but decided to take a gap year to explore South America (I was so jealous!). First stop before getting there, Madrid. Anna was so kind and nice. A bit shy but friendly. I took her to a vegan restaurant, we talked about life and experiences… It was fantastic to have her.

My fourth stay was also from Germany. 29-year-old Simon was a free soul, he had been travelling around Asia on a motorbike and before that, Australia. We watched some films together, and he convinced me to ride those electric scooters around the city. So glad he did! I had so much fun. He was also, like the rest of my guests, extremely polite and considerate. Simon also bought me some chocolates to thank me for letting him stay one more night. He was truly a gentleman.

Meanwhile, I had been talking to Nick, my next couch surfer. By the time he arrived we had been texting each other for a week, so I felt a bit more familiar with him. I considered the possibility of something happening between us, but I also knew I was hurt, and I didn’t feel quite ready yet. It took me three days to make up my mind, and it was the best decision ever. Nick was a 23-year-old nurse from Minnesota living in France for a year. He spoke English, French, Spanish and Arabic. I was so impressed. He also played the guitar and sang well, although I didn’t have the pleasure to see it live. He had the body of a Greek God and was extremely handsome, so one day when he picked me up from uni I challenged him. I said, ‘What do you think of the Arab Israeli conflict?’ He then said ‘Well I’m not really into politics’ I knew it – I thought – he couldn’t be perfect, there is the flaw, he’s an ignorant person: Just a pretty face. Forget him. Then, he started talking about the conflict and gave me some historical context with specific dates included. He had been reading a book about it not long ago. Hit and sunk, my theory went down the drain and so did my excuses. I was just so afraid of rejection and goodbyes and having sex with someone else. Nick taught me that there are men out there that can be much better than I thought. Kind, considerate, caring, selfless, well-cultured. What a wonderful young man. Note to self: Do not lose contact with him. Life might end up rewarding you and you might end up with him, God knows.

My next guest was Mikaela, a sweet 21-year-old girl half Colombian half French who was studying in Toulouse. I learnt so much from her and her vision of life. Mikaela was a very mature girl who had come to Spain hitchhiking. She was so brave and had had the guts and the instinct to do it. She was such an introspective girl, she had analysed her mother and forgiven her already for any mistakes she had made when bringing her up. It took me quite a few years (recently) to go through the same process, and some friends of mine are still on it and are much older than her. Mikaela was so open minded and tolerant with everyone. When she left I felt I was missing a friend.

Laura, a 26 year-old-dreamer from Barcelona was working in Salamanca. She stayed over the weekend while Mikaela, who was supposed to leave on Friday, asked me to stay a couple of more nights. ‘I’d love to, but I don’t have any more room’ I said, ‘I’ll sleep on the floor, I don’t mind’, she replied. Of course I didn’t let that happen, so I offered to share my bed with Mika. The three of us had so much fun together. Girly nights talking about men, me mainly talking wonders about Nick, and them telling me about their recent love experiences.

The girls left on Sunday and I felt extremely lonely again. I had just been looking at a flat where they allowed dogs and it looked promising. Then, a CouchSurfing request. Joe, from London. He was looking for a room in Madrid and asked me if he could stay until he found one. And he did. He is my current housemate, who cooks well and cheers me up. And most importantly: He loves Ollie (who doesn’t anyway). Joe was also looking for a Spanish tutor – guess what my job was in London, “Moni the Spaniard”. Yes, I was a Spanish teacher for AIG and before that a private Spanish tutor for over four years. So all of a sudden I had a housemate and a job. Ultimately, a great twist in my life.

I had been too scared to look for a housemate as I’m really picky with people and not very tolerant with noisy housemates or people who aren’t very aware. That’s why I love CS so much, because travellers are usually super considerate and kind. If you choose well it can be a wonderful experience. We’ll keep being hosts on CS as Joe has just bought a bed, so the sofa is free again. I can’t wait for the next guest to arrive!

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